By the grace of God I have been cancer free for almost 5 years. The cancer I had was a Carcinoid Tumor that was discovered in my Appendix.MIt’s very rare and the chance of it reoccurring is only 4%. To make sure I stay cancer free I do several tests every six months and have yearly CT Scans. My visits with my amazing Ocologist, Dr Bradford, consists of him bouncing in (he is a ball of energy) telling me I look great and my tests are all normal, does an exam and then bounces off on his way for another 6 months. This has been my norm, this was what I expected on July 9th, however, it isn’t what happened. He bounced in, with a bit of a different look in his eye and led me to a room where he showed me my CT Scan that showed three very tiny spots in the lower lobe of my right lung. There is a chance that the CA has returned, there is inflammation or infection. Because this is a very slow growing cancer and my labs were normal, the course of treatment is to wait and see…..for three months! I will get another CT Scan, if the spots are gone, we go to monitoring every 3 months. If they are still there it is cancer and we will move toward surgery. As if this news wasn’t enough, when I got home late Thursday evening there was a message that my mammography had areas of “concern” and I need to return for follow up. I’ll be going next Thursday for more images and Ultrasound, not so long to wait. Three months however, for the other issue, is a long time so what is a girl to do during while waiting?
First, I think the best way to get out of self is to help someone else. My friend, Susan, is battling CA for the second time. First, it was breast CA last year and this year it is liver cancer. We both had appointments for the Ocology Center on Thursday. Her news was a bit more challenging then mine. The CA has lessened in the liver but now present in her brain so even though Thursday was a long challenging day, Friday I took Susan for her first Radiation treatment, it was the next right thing to do. Another very long day that I would do all over if necessary. That’s what friends do.
Today, tired from two long days, I just wanted to crawl back into bed and shut the world out. Instead, first I took power from satan and shared my prayer needs with my fb friends, there is power in prayer, and the gates of heaven are being stormed on my and Susan’s behalf!
Next I did my favorite thing. Got my hands dirty, tackling an over grown garden in our back yard. I spent some really quality time chatting with Abba daddy while I gardened and I was acutely aware of things I don’t ordinarily see! This is the garden when I started:
I have wanted to remove this pine tree because there is no way it can grow to its full potential in the corner of the garden, under the apple tree. My fear is that it will die when I move it. I wondered how to propagate it and then, while gardening I found this and another one like it!
There is a corner of this garden by the house I leave with Oak leaves piled in. It is where the AC releases the condensation through a pipe and tends to stay damp. The frogs love it and since they eat bugs, I love them. Also, when I pushed the leaves aside this was the beautiful dark soil I found:
God also gave me little reminders to pray for the man who we needed to fire because he was doing such a bad job on our roof:
So what has God shared with me this morning?
1. What looks like a mess is just what can be seen with the eye-underneath is something beautiful and rich. Under the leaves and weeds was beautiful rich soil! When we dig past our mess-God reveals our beauty
2. God hears my prayers-he provided not one but two baby Pine Trees to replace the one we will remove. Sometimes God provides a way to change us by moving us.
3. My little froggy friend was plump and content and not at all afraid of me. God provided for him to eat and will take care of our needs too.
4. We, as flawed humans, don’t look towards the future. Those trees, when they were small, probably looked nice but now, years down the road they absolutely don’t. God not only looks to the future, he has great plans for my future and yours too!
5. When we come across things that have caused anger and hurt, praying for those individuals is the best way to turn anger and resentment to compassion in action.
6. My unfinished garden-the biggest lesson perhaps is that we are all a work in progress. My garden needed my hand and we need God’s hand with us every step of the way.