We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails. Proverbs 19:21 The Message
I don’t know about you but when I make plans to attend a retreat or conference I make plans to get the most out of it. After all, I spent precious money and want to make it worth the cost.
So this is how I planned for the Proverbs 31 Ministries Conference She Speaks.
I know that I am called to write, I love to share with you’all and get some very positive feedback, I also know I have much to learn. So, with great anticipation, I stepped out in faith and registered for She Speaks. I did become more equipped to write by attending but gained so much more than I could have possibly anticipated. I was tremendously blessed in many ways. Here are just two.
The first blessing came in physical healing. The night I was to embark on a 900 mile solo road trip to the She Speaks conference in Concord, NC, I was rushing around to do a few last household tasks. In the night, severe pain started in my sciatic nerve. I couldn’t roll over, or sleep comfortably. It was as if the devil himself took a dagger and stabbed it into my sciatic nerve as he gleefully shouted, ‘ SO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO DRIVE 900 MILES, BECOME EQUIPPED AND SHARE JESUS WITH THE WORLD.’ I know pain, I live with chronic pain from failed back surgery and Chronic Lymes Complex. This was a different and very debilitating pain. I woke up to even worse pain. For a moment I though I might have to go commando (I have a new found understanding for that toilet paper commercial I can’t stand on TV) because the pain prevented me from bending forward and lifting my foot to dress. I refused to give in, I dressed, took Ibuprofin, loaded the car, and started on my way.
It became very apparent as I made various stops on the way that this pain wasn’t going anywhere soon. The trip was difficult but I determined to obey God and go.
When I got to the Embassy Suites I managed to get my stuff into the room and limped around with my cane. I went to the Proverbs 31 Ministries Office to pray for the P31 Team and received prayer.
Fast forward to the next day, opening session for the Pre Conference. I was late getting in, standing all the way in the back praising God with the awesome Worship Team. I love to raise my hands up to Jesus when I Worship my sweet Jesus but was only raising my right hand in a futile way of protecting my left side with my left arm down at my side. As clear as day I heard God say “Praise me with both arms raised” in obedience I slowly raised my left arm. When I did it felt as if hands had grasped my hips, made them level and the pain literally melted away down my legs. I’ve not felt that awful pain since-Praise God!! My cane stood leaning on the counter in the room from that afternoon on, never to be used again in the conference.
A second unexpected blessing came in the way of heart healing. You see, my 35 year old daughter has not spoken to me in almost 6 years due to sins in my life that affected her as a child. Rather than go through the pain of deep heart healing and reconciling, she has chosen to shut the door on the pain and me. Sadly, I know all too well the pain is still there and deep down in this mama’s heart I know she loves and misses me.
I have been trusting God with this situation but I have to be honest, I sometimes wonder if God has forgotten my heart hurt in this matter. On Friday I had the blessing of attending a Compel members lunch. There were several hundred of us there, lots of places to sit but who sits next to me-a God appointed messenger. Somehow we talked about the Prodical Son and I shared about my separation from my sweet daughter. She then shared with me that she was estranged from her mom for most of her 30’s (her moms choice) but God had reconciled them. She urged me not to give up and then prayed with me, things I didn’t share, that spoke to my heart.
After this lunch I attended a workshop given by Liz Curtis Higgs on telling stories from the written word and on the stage. At the end of the talk she shared about the Prodical Son and while my daughter is living a very good life, in terms of the world, she has separated herself from me. She is my Prodical Child. The tears could not be held back.
I ran from that session to the Prayer Room and the flood gates opened up, I cried my heart out to Jesus, so over whelmed by His love and when I was done left a lighter, freer woman knowing that, yes, my God DOES know my heart and is working on my behalf.
Do you have an agenda when planning things? Has God totally thrown you for a loop and totally changed your plans? I would love to hear about those times when you made plans and God laughed!
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13
Linking up with Suzie Eller today. Click this link to read some more awesome blogs. LivefreeThursday
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