Day 19-Strong

Here is the next installment of my Five Minute Free Writes Challenge.

The day dawns brightly with clouds dancing across the sky. I step out into the yard and look up to see a rainbow arching over our property. Blue skies peaking through the clouds promise a day full of endless possibilities. The chickens call asking me to open their pen so they can wander the yard and feast on all the creepy, crawly things living in the grass. Their calls beacon me, I am their keeper and they know my voice.

I am grateful for those four feathered breakfast makers. They need me but I need them more than they will ever know. They depend on me for clean water, food and a safe, clean coop. I need a reason to get up and get dressed. Keeps me putting one foot in front of the other. You see while my spirit is full with joy my heart feels the coming storm. The darkness that comes out of no where to try to kill, devour and destroy me from the inside out. I see it coming yet I can not stop the impending storm. The lies that I sometimes hear, whispered into my ear, from the evil one. Lies that are based in the truth of my past but are no longer true. I am not my past, it no longer defines me but occasionally it grabs me.

It’s at times like these, when I feel my weakest, I am made strong through the power that lives in me. A power greater than any darkness that can and will inevitable envelope me.

Some say my faith is lacking, if I truly walked with Jesus this darkness would not keep coming over me. I should be strong enough to fight the evil one. Truth is, I am not. There is no strength within my earthly flesh to combat the darkness that is called periodic major depression. I walk through one bout and hope and pray it is the last, I beg God to make it my last. All is well, for a while and then………the storm begins to build and all I can do is hold onto the boat and keep my eyes on the one who calms my storms.

Three times I besought the Lord about this, that it should leave me; but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (ESV)

As this storm slowly creeps across the horizon I will keep my eyes fixed on the rainbow and stretch my arms up to the heavens. I will give thanks even in this, this brewing storm.

The storm will rage, fatigue will fill my battle weary body but victory is mine. Jesus made promises to me in His Word.

Past sin and choices don’t define me

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 

Romans 8:1(ESV)

No matter how dark, no matter how invisible I feel God is with me and for me.

No matter how dark I will be content.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have; for he has said, “I will never fail you nor forsake you.” Hence we can confidently say,

“The Lord is my helper,
I will not be afraid;
what can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6
(ESV)

The sunrise kisses the mountains across the pasture and I am reminded that above every dark and dreary stormed filled sky the sun shines brightly above the clouds. The sun’s warmth is always present even when I can’t see or feel it. His light burns brightly inside me even when I don’t feel it. His light will guide me through this storm and, as I persevere through, my faith will be made strong.

Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. (ESV)

Be watchful, stand firm in your faith, be courageous, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love. 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 (ESV)

If you would like to read more blogs in this series click here 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes Challenge They are written by my Five Minute Friday friends!

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