Waiting…..

 

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I haven’t written a post for months. I can’t completely explain why except to say I’m in a waiting period. Waiting for what you might ask-I’m not sure so my best answer is that I’m in a waiting period-waiting for direction from God.

Psalm 27:14 says:
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

So wait I do. I have been waiting for many things in my life-writing-de cluttering-Christmas decorating and moving forward.

I love Christmas decorations. I love the lights and everything about living in a small town at Christmas. Yet, I’ve not been able to do any of my own decoration. Frozen, not moving forward. WHY?? In my quiet time I was thinking about the last Christmas I spent with my daughter back in 2008-she invited us-she wanted us to be there yet she has not spoken to me since Aug 2009 because of things that happened when she was a child. She suffered fallout from the sins I walked in. When repressed memories affected her health in 2009 she decided having me out of her life was easier than working through the hard things to heal our relationship. Words were said and received, on both our sides, through the filter of hurting hearts. Hurting hearts are not capable of hearing another’s voice, hurting hearts hurt others and want to hide behind a wall.

For over six years I have taken the full burden of this separation-full of guilt, remorse and until not long ago fully lacking grace. Guilt over things I can’t  change. What God told me in my quiet time this morning is that I have no part in this separation. Yes, I made some really bad choices when she was young but I am not that person anymore. I am a new creation in Christ that has been forgiven. I would not make those same choices today. She has created this separation, she chooses to continue it and I have made numerous efforts to build a bridge of reconciliation.

My efforts to build a bridge have been to no avail-the burden of this separation rests on my daughter, that may sound harsh but she is the one choosing to keep the wall up between us, she is the one with unforgiveness in her heart, she is the one who chooses to live in the pain of the past rather than see the good that came out of that pain.

There are many times God took what was meant for evil to bring good (Gen 50:20)

  1. Yes I asked her dad to move out and in his place moved in a crazy man but her dad met and married and amazing women who was able to be her role model during times I was not able.
  2. Yes, she lost her scholarships to George Washington University due to PTSD but when she moved to Memphis to continue her education she met her wonderful husband.
  3. Yes I’ve messed up more in my life then I care to list but when she messed up she would call me instead of her dad because, as she once told me, “I knew I could call you because you’ve messed up things but pulled yourself out.  Dad expects perfection.”

I could go on and on but I think you get the idea. Do these silver linings to otherwise very dark clouds in any way negate my choices that I had made. Absolutely not, but condemning for a lifetime when there were many happy moments too is sad.

What God revealed to me this morning in my quiet time is that yes, I made poor choices but I am loved unconditionally and forgiven. He loves me and wants relationship with me. That’s what unconditional love does, forgives and helps us grow through our choices and conflicts without fear of rejection.

My mom made some choices when I was young that affected me and I’m fairly certain all of my siblings BUT the thought of not having a relationship with her has never crossed my mind. My mom, through her actions, taught me uncontional love on a level I’ve not seen in many. Her unconditional love of one person, my dad, gravely affected all of us. The only way I can explain why I  continue loving and having my mom in my life is that I know she loves me and I know she made the best choices she was capable of at the time. I know she suffers guilt over her choices and it deeply hurts her that I’m not her only child that has a child that has cut ties with their mom. I also know that I have also hurt my mom, through words and actions, yet she still loves me. This unconditional love goes both ways.

I think my biggest failure with my daughter is not the poor choices I made that affected her but that I didn’t teach her unconditional love. When she was young her Dad and his brother had a disagreement and stopped speaking with each other. He treated his brother, and his family,  like they never existed, she was appalled and felt torn because she wanted a relationship with them YET she feared rejection from her father if he found out she still had them in her life. She has done the very same thing to me. Love works through hard things, love is patient, love is kind. Love is the missing factor.

This is my biggest failure. Yet, I love and forgive her unconditionally and look forward to the day she decides that unconditional love works through hard things and having me in her life is worth working through those hard things.

Until that happens, at least for today, I’m going to go pull out some Christmas decorations and walk in Gods unconditional love and grace. Yes, still waiting but waiting doesn’t necessarily mean sitting frozen in time, it is doing the next right thing one day at a time until such a time that the waiting is over.

Isaiah 40:31 gives me hope in the waiting because my hope lies in him.

“but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.”

Are you feeling weary today? Know that you are unconditionally loved and you are not alone. HE is right there with you every step of the way.

 

 

Never too soon to share Jesus!!

Samples of Pocket Testament League covers for Testaments!
Samples of Pocket Testament League covers for Testaments!

Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom. Luke 23:42

Sunday night at church Pastor Bear gave an amazing message. It was not the one he had prepared because events of the day caused God to change the course of his message.

We have a biker coming to our church that recently re- dedicated his life to Jesus and Sunday  his old partner in the world died in a motorcycle accident. Bittersweet because he is gone from this earth but riding in heaven now.

Pastors message revolved around the convicts that died on either side of Jesus at His crucification. One, mocked and spit on Jesus, the other repented and asked to be remembered in paradise. This convict, crucified for his crimes, dwells in heaven, the other in hell. His message was one of the urgency to share Jesus with everyone. No one is promised tomorrow so we need to share Jesus today!!!!

While Pastor was speaking God revealed things I had never understood. I think my rekindled passion to share my Jesus with the world allowed my eyes to be opened.

You see, in Luke 23:39- 41 says: 39 One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!” 40 But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? 41 We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

Did you catch that? Jesus is hanging on the cross, having bled out more blood than the human body holds,  listening to these two criminals that hung on each side of Him. One mocking and the other getting it at the last minute. Waiting for them to truly understand who HE was. Luke 23 continues to say:

42 Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

and Jesus forgives him of his sins and welcomes him into paradise.

43 Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

I’ve read this passage many times and never realized that even before he asked Jesus to remember him this criminal was sharing the truth. He tried to bring the other criminal to the light. Sadly, the other criminal did not heed the call but at least he was given the chance!

My question to you today is what is holding you back from sharing the greatest gift that you ever received?

Too young a Christian?

Don’t know enough Scripture?

Too timid?

Don’t know what to say?

What if I could show you a way to step out in faith and share the Good News from right where you are in your walk?

When I attended She Speaks in July there were several sponsors with information to share. The one that made the greatest impression on me was The Pocket Testament League.

Started by a group of teens, led by Helen Cadbury, over 120 years ago in England and it’s still growing strong. Helen, and her friends, loved the Lord so much she wanted to share Scripture with everyone that crossed her path.

So do I!!

Back 120 years ago, girls wore long dresses….her dilemna was where to carry the Testaments. She and her friends sewed pockets on their dresses. Her father, of Cadbury Chocolate fame BTW, printed the Testaments for them. Thus was born The Pocket Testament League.

I have pockets in my jeans!

The PTL is so committed to sharing the Gospel that they will send you FREE Pocket Testaments of the Book of John!! Through The League’s sponsorship program, you can request up to 30 Gospels each month. That’s one Gospel to share each day!

I was so impressed I joined and became an Ambassador.

The Pocket Testament League not only provides the Testaments, through their sponsorship program,  they have lots of online tools to help you dig deeper into the word and also train you to share Jesus with all you meet.

You might be hesitant because you have a particular version of the Bible that you prefer or you don’t want to share a boring little pocket Testament.  Well, they have that covered! The Pocket Testament League offers several translations, languages and MANY covers to suit your needs. They offer many designs….flowers, camo, babies, bikes, pretty crosses, medical-there is one for just about everyone you will encounter.

Think of all the possibilities:

Retreats

Camps

Mission Trips

Ladies/Men’s Fellowships

Community Outreach

Medical Clinics

Pregnancy Centers

The possibilities are endless…..

Curious and want to get some more information?

I sure was!

Click here to join and have access to FREE Gospels of John and many FREE online resources: Pocket Testament League

I’ve already shared my Pocket Testaments and it’s fun!! I met a wonderful woman in the Barnes and Noble Starbucks Cafe, Rhonda, and shared one with her. We are friends now, in her words “we are kindred spirits”! Won’t you please join me in this powerful yet simple way to fulfill the Great Commision given to us by Jesus:

Matthew 28:16-20 16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Unexpected Blessings….

She Speaks 2015
She Speaks 2015

We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails.                                     Proverbs 19:21 The Message

I don’t know about you but when I make plans to attend a retreat or conference I make plans to get the most out of it. After all, I spent precious money and want to make it worth the cost.

So this is how I planned for the Proverbs 31 Ministries Conference She Speaks.   

I know that I am called to write, I love to share with you’all and get some very positive feedback, I also know I have much to learn. So, with great anticipation, I stepped out in faith and registered for She Speaks. I did become more equipped to write by attending but gained so much more than I could have possibly anticipated. I was tremendously blessed in many ways. Here are just two.

The first blessing came in physical healing. The night I was to embark on a 900 mile solo road trip to the  She Speaks conference in Concord, NC, I was rushing around to do a few last household tasks. In the night, severe pain started in my sciatic nerve. I couldn’t roll over, or sleep comfortably. It was as if the devil himself took a dagger and stabbed it into my sciatic nerve as he gleefully shouted, ‘ SO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO DRIVE 900 MILES,  BECOME EQUIPPED AND SHARE JESUS WITH THE WORLD.’ I know pain, I live with chronic pain from failed back surgery and Chronic Lymes Complex. This was a different and very debilitating pain. I woke up to even worse pain. For a moment I though I might have to go commando (I have a new found understanding for that toilet paper commercial I can’t stand on TV) because the pain prevented me from bending forward and lifting my foot to dress. I refused to give in, I dressed, took Ibuprofin, loaded the car,  and started on my way.

It became very apparent as I made various stops on the way that this pain wasn’t going anywhere soon. The trip was difficult but I determined to obey God and go.

When I got to the Embassy Suites I managed to get my stuff into the room and limped around with my cane. I went to the Proverbs 31 Ministries Office to pray for the P31 Team and received prayer.

Fast forward to the next day, opening session for the Pre Conference. I was late getting in, standing all the way in the back praising God with the awesome Worship Team. I love to raise my hands up to Jesus when I Worship my sweet Jesus but was only raising my right hand in a futile way of protecting my left side with my left arm down at my side. As clear as day I heard God say “Praise me with both arms raised” in obedience I slowly raised my left arm. When I did it felt as if hands had grasped my hips, made them level and the pain literally melted away down my legs. I’ve not felt that awful pain since-Praise God!! My cane stood leaning on the counter in the room from that afternoon on, never to be used again in the conference.

My cane

A second unexpected blessing came in the way of heart healing. You see, my 35 year old daughter has not spoken to me in almost 6 years due to sins in my life that affected her as a child. Rather than go through the pain of deep heart healing and reconciling, she has chosen to shut the door on the pain and me. Sadly, I know all too well the pain is still there and deep down in this mama’s heart I know she loves and misses me.

I have been trusting God with this situation but I have to be honest, I sometimes wonder if God has forgotten my heart hurt in this matter. On Friday I had the blessing of attending a  Compel members lunch. There were several hundred of us there, lots of places to sit but who sits next to me-a God appointed messenger. Somehow we talked about the Prodical Son and I shared about my separation from my sweet daughter. She then shared with me that she was estranged from her mom for most of her 30’s (her moms choice) but God had reconciled them. She urged me not to give up and then prayed with me, things I didn’t share, that spoke to my heart.

After this lunch  I attended a workshop given by Liz Curtis Higgs on telling stories from the written word and on the stage. At the end of the talk she shared about the Prodical Son and while my daughter is living a very good life, in terms of the world, she has separated herself from me. She is my Prodical Child. The tears could not be held back.

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I ran from that session to the Prayer Room and the flood gates opened up, I cried my heart out to Jesus, so over whelmed by His love and when I was done left a lighter, freer woman knowing that, yes, my God DOES know my heart and is working on my behalf.

Do you have an agenda when planning things? Has God totally thrown you for a loop and totally changed your plans? I would love to hear about those times when you made plans and God laughed!

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.       Jeremiah 29:11-13

Linking up with Suzie Eller today.                                                                                        Click this link to read some more awesome blogs.    LivefreeThursday

Another Blessing was becoming a Pocket Testament League Ambassador                          Click here for more information: Pocket Testament League

Will you pray for me?

Hello sweet friends! You might have noticed I’m taking a little break from blogging. This morning I am heading out to a Women’s conference in North Carolina called She Speaks put on by Proverbs 31 Ministries.

The purpose of this conference is to help beginning writers/speaks to grow in their skills, connect those who have written or are in the process of writing to pitch their books during agent/publishers appointments, equip speakers and leaders and to join with 800 other Christian sisters  to Praise, Worship and let go of all that is preventing us from stepping out in full faith to do what God has called us to do!

I am super excited, I will be learning from Writers and Leaders that I have admired from the distance. They were in my shoes once and willing share what they learned along the way to make the process a bit less daunting for me!

I am excited but also a bit nervous. I am driving myself from NW Arkansas (over two days) and definitely need Jesus to take the wheel. I have physical challenges and some are rearing their ugly heads today. The enemy must be shaking in his boots cause he really doesn’t want me to go. I’m a country bumpkin and the thought of being with so many people is a bit over whelming!

I believe, with all my heart, that God hears and answers prayers so would you please join me in praying for the following?

1. Safe travels-it’s about 900 miles each way.

2. That I keep my focus on HIM and not compare myself with others.

3. That my ears will be open to all that God has in store for me.

4. That I will step out of my comfort zone and make life long friendships with awesome women who have the same heart for Jesus that I do!

5. For my sweet husband, who will be home working, taking care of the pups, probably working hard on a home project, and missing me. 🙂

6. Finally, I have some physical challenges and my prayer is that they do not interfere with my functioning this week.

Thank you so much!! I’m looking forward to posting about this adventure next week but until then, my friends, may the grace of God be with you!!

So what’s a Jesus girl to do?

By the grace of God I have been cancer free for almost 5 years. The cancer I had was a Carcinoid Tumor that was discovered in my Appendix.MIt’s very rare and the chance of it reoccurring is only 4%. To make sure I stay cancer free I do several tests every six months and have yearly CT Scans. My visits with my amazing Ocologist, Dr Bradford, consists of him bouncing in (he is a ball of energy) telling me I look great and my tests are all normal, does an exam and then bounces off on his way for another 6 months. This has been my norm, this was what I expected on July 9th, however, it isn’t what happened. He bounced in, with a bit of a different look in his eye and led me to a room where he showed me my CT Scan that showed  three very tiny spots in the lower lobe of my right lung. There is a chance that the CA has returned, there is inflammation or infection. Because this is a very slow growing cancer and my labs were normal, the course of treatment is to wait and see…..for three months! I will get another CT Scan, if the spots are gone, we go to monitoring every 3 months. If they are still there it is cancer and we will move toward surgery. As if this news wasn’t enough, when I got home late Thursday evening there was a message that my mammography had areas of “concern” and I need to return for follow up. I’ll be going next Thursday for more images and Ultrasound, not so long to wait. Three months however, for the other issue, is a long time so what is a girl to do during while waiting?

First, I think the best way to get out of self is to help someone else. My friend, Susan, is battling CA for the second time. First, it was breast CA last year and this year it is liver cancer. We both had appointments for the Ocology Center on Thursday. Her news was a bit more challenging then mine. The CA has lessened in the liver but now present in her brain so even though Thursday was a long challenging day, Friday I took Susan for her first Radiation treatment, it was the next right thing to do. Another very long day that I would do all over if necessary. That’s what friends do.

Today, tired from two long days, I just wanted to crawl back into bed and shut the world out. Instead, first I took power from satan and shared my prayer needs with my fb friends, there is power in prayer, and the gates of heaven are being stormed on my and Susan’s behalf!

Next I did my favorite thing. Got my hands dirty, tackling an over grown garden in our back yard. I spent some really quality time chatting with Abba daddy while I gardened and I was acutely aware of things I don’t ordinarily see! This is the garden when I started:

Decided to tackle this garden today
Decided to tackle this garden today
This little guy was hiding under some leaves and stuck around all morning :)
This little guy was hiding under some leaves and stuck around all morning 🙂
The previous owner planted this pine tree and apple tree very close to the house!
The previous owner planted this pine tree and apple tree very close to the house!

I have wanted to remove  this pine tree  because there is no way it can grow to its full potential in the corner of the garden, under the apple tree. My fear is that it will die when I move it. I wondered how to propagate it and then, while gardening I found this and another one like it!

God provided  not one but two of these little pine offsprings from the pine tree!
God provided not one but two of these little pine offsprings from the pine tree!

There is a corner of this garden by the house I leave with Oak leaves piled in. It is where the AC releases the condensation through a pipe and tends to stay damp. The frogs love it and since they eat bugs, I love them. Also, when I pushed the leaves aside this was the beautiful dark soil I found:

The Oak leaves compost into beautiful soil!
The Oak leaves compost into beautiful soil!

God also gave me little reminders to pray for the man who we needed to fire because he was doing such a bad job on our roof:

Nails and plastic thingy things found under the leaves.
Nails and plastic thingy things found under the leaves.

So what has God shared with me this morning?

1. What looks like a mess is just what can be seen with the eye-underneath is something beautiful and rich. Under the leaves and weeds was beautiful rich soil! When we dig past our mess-God reveals our beauty

2. God hears my prayers-he provided not one but two baby Pine Trees to replace the one we will remove. Sometimes God provides a way to change us by moving us.

3. My little froggy friend was plump and content and not at all afraid of me. God provided for him to eat and will take care of our needs too.

4. We, as flawed humans, don’t look towards the future. Those trees, when they were small, probably looked nice but now, years down the road they absolutely don’t. God not only looks to the future, he has great plans for my future and yours too!

5. When we come across things that have caused anger and hurt, praying for those individuals is the best way to turn anger and resentment to compassion in action.

6. My unfinished garden-the biggest lesson perhaps is that we are all a work in progress. My garden needed my hand and we need God’s hand with us every step of the way.

It's all weeded but now needs some plants-a work in progress!
It’s all weeded but now needs some plants-a work in progress!

I got the G.P.S.

I love the Pixar movie “Cars” it’s a fun movie with some obvious and some not so obvious life lessons. It’s about a car in a BIG race that thinks he has won-He pridefully drives through the winners banner on stage only to hear the announcer announce it was a three way tie! Talk about being embarrassed!

For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 1 John 2:16

The winner will be crowned at a race in California. There is a big rush to get there so they can smooze with the big advertiser. Lightning McQueen, our little  prideful car, pushes Mack, his trusty transport truck, to leave right away, despite being tired. During the trip, Mack gets lulled to sleep by some mischievious cars that lead him astray.

“Why are you sleeping?” he asked them. “Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.”    Luke 22:46

Lightning McQueen ends up rolling out the back of the truck and gets lost. He has no lights because he is a race car and depends on the lights in the stadium. He has depended on others to light his way so he is now stumbling in the dark.

Then Jesus told them, “You are going to have the light just a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. Whoever walks in the dark does not know where they are going. John 12:35

In the dark, normal things often scare us that wouldn’t scare us if we were in the light. He ends up ripping up the road. He’s in BIG trouble and his punishment is to repair the road. He eventually finds his way through new found friends in “Radiator Springs”.

God uses the most unusal cars to bring him back into the light.

In one portion of the movie, as Lightning McQueen is repairing the road  two cars come by. Everyone gets excited because they will have customers but at last they are just lost. The “wife” car tells the “husband” car to ask for directions. His answer is “I don’t need to ask for directions, I have the GPS”.

This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you; they fill you with false hopes. They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the Lord. Jeremiah 23:16

Meanwhile Lightning McQueen is shouting for help because he is stuck in Hillbilly H$ll and because the car couple is so lost instead of helping they roll away as fast as possible.  After all, they have “the GPS”.

Isn’t it like so many people-they try to do things on their own, relying on things that obviously don’t work but so trusting  those things that they do not know how absolutely lost they are.

Those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe. Proverbs28:26

Also, because they are so lost they can’t be of service to anyone else either.

I am so grateful that I have THE GPS-God’s Perfect Solution! The Bible gives me answers to all my questions and HIS word never fails me.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 

Because I have HIS Word and follow its wisdom with the aid of the Holy Spirit that lives in me, I am able to be of service to others and I can lead them to the very same GPS that I am able to live by.

I love acrostics, I am a very visual person and often need easy reminders to help me learn things. I’ve been told that BIBLE stands for Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. As I walk closer and closer with Jesus everyday I find its so much more than “basic” instructions. To me the Bible is the gateway to eternal life. Without the God inspired Words in the Bible I can not live a life on earth that reflects all that He created me to be. Without the Bible I am just rolling around in the dark totally lost. Without these God inspired words I remain lost.

I am so grateful that I live by God’s Perfect Solution. It’s my heart’s desire that you learn to live by this GPS-God’s Perfect Solution-you won’t regret it. Got questions? I know where to point you to find the solution!

Sharing this on http://purposefulfaith.com/when-issues-mount/ #RaRaLinkup

A year since God showed up BIG TIME!!!!

If you read About a Year ago you know in April 2014 we won a million dollars in the lottery. I want to re-iterate that I am not telling anyone to run out and buy lottery tickets, just sharing how God answers prayers in the most unusual way.

When we won last year I prayed about what to to with the money and three scriptures kept coming to mind.

In Exodus 16 God provides manna for each day and the Israelites were told to only gather enough for each day-he would provide for the days to come.

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’                                                                 Matthew 25:40


“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”          Matthew 6:34
With these truths from God’s Word on our hearts we believed God was telling us three things.

1. God was providing funds for us to use today, not to hoard for later.

2. There were many in need and we were to bless those in need, every time we did, we blessed Jesus too.

3. We were not to worry about tomorrow because God would provide for us when we got there.

We had well meaning family and friends telling us that we needed to invest for our retirement. Our hearts kept telling us what good would it be if we had money for retirement down the road  if our neighbor was hungry or struggling financially or riding on bald tires. When Jesus calls me home how would I answer Him when He asked “Why didn’t you help me?” What ever you did for the least of these you did for me kept ringing in my head.

That is not to say that everyone that had a need, we filled. Honestly, there were some situations that I wanted to provide for and after praying I got the feeling that it wasn’t our need  to fill. Other times I was ready to write out a check for something and I distinctly heard “Do you REALLY trust me? Double it!” and in obedience I did double it. I would love to say that I heeded every call to give but there were a couple of times I did fall short, in my flesh I balked. I’m not proud of that but I am being honest. It was an amazing year, being able to bless others in big ways with no expectation of anything being returned. This was the beautiful side of getting an amazing windfall.

The not so amazing side was seeing some people for who they really are. You can tell where people have their priorities. Some quietly told us how happy they were that we won because they knew we would do the right thing with the money. Others though, still, a year later refer to me as the woman who won a million dollars and think, still has a million dollars. First to set the record straight, you only have a million on paper, as soon as you submit that lottery ticket you no longer have a million. Sure, they took a picture of me and Bill holding a big check that said a million dollars but when you receive the check it has the taxes out. We left the lottery office with a check for $680,000. Once we tithed, blessed others, paid back those we owed, credit cards, our mortgage, made much needed home repairs, got  new vehicles and some toys to make life easier there was very little left and the IRS took what was left of that! People are very surprised when I say “we gave most of it away” and sadly, the next thing some people will say is “Well you didn’t give me any!!” It’s said with a very negative, jealous, envious tone. A lot of ugly comments were made out of envy and jealousy.

I hate to be in the spot light. I am grateful that others have won and we are yesterday’s story. I cringe when I hear someone I thought was a friend shout across Walmart-“How’s the millionaire doing?” I don’t want to be remembered for winning the lottery-I want to be remembered as someone who loves and trusts Jesus, tries to share that love with others and blessed and still blesses others out of what God has provided us.

My dreamer husband still plays the lottery-dreaming of how many we can bless since we have little debt. Only God knows!